Rollercoaster of Emotions

Today was the day that we have been waiting for and dreading at the same time.  We were thrilled beyond belief that this little angel was going to be our daughter for the rest of time.  We were heartbroken when watching the nannies and Yashu say their goodbyes.  Grief stricken when our fabulous guide (who I don't know what we would have done without) took on the hideous task of explaining to Little Miss what was going to happen tomorrow and a few days after that.  So I guess I will start at the beginning...

We had sent a thumbdrive through Ann at Red Thread China to the SWI asking if they had any photos or documents, to please copy them onto that for us.  When we met with them yesterday they gave us the drive back.  Late last night, John and I were chatting about the day when I remembered that I had that drive in my bag.  We plugged it in and found over 100 photos and videos of the last 5 years of Little Misses life in Liuzhou - including the giant going away party they threw for her last weekend.  I can't even begin to describe the gratitude that we have for these people who gave everything to our little girl to make her life as great as they could.

First thing this morning, we met with our guide, Hannah, and went to the registration office.  We met with the 3 women from the SWI and another local official who asked us a few questions - what was our occupation, do we promise to love Yashu, etc - that whole part was very anti-climatic and over with in about 15 minutes (and that includes a bathroom break).  Next we went back to the civil affairs office that we were in yesterday.  This seemed a bit more official, they asked us a series of questions, do we promise to care for Yashu to the best of our ability, what resources do we have to address her physical needs, why did we want to adopt her or from China for that matter.  The social workers from the children's home were with us again and when the physical therapist and Yashu saw each other, they both burst into tears - queue the grieving process beginning.  Made our way back to the hotel for lunch and a quick nap then back to the Civil Affairs office to receive our final paperwork.  We were led to a room with several different country flags around the perimeter and I was really starting to wonder if they stood in front of the one representing the family for a photo op but no such luck, she just stood where ever she wanted.  It was very emotional, we are exhausted which just amplified normal emotions as they were but only one of the women from the SWI came to see us off.  She was incredibly upbeat and truly happy for Yashu and kept her laughing through most of the meetings.  When it was time to say good bye, she kept it short and sweet and turned away before Yashu could see her tears.  As we were leaving the room, I turned and went back and regardless of culture and social customs, threw my arms around her and thanked her for loving Yashu so much and she just hugged me so hard and thanked me for coming for her.  People, I was a mess - some may say that I am an emotional person to begin with but add a tremendous amount of sleep loss and hunger to the mix and train wreck is the closest thing that can describe where I am right now...

Hannah came back to the hotel with us to help us get paperwork ready to travel tomorrow, I finally pulled myself together and John was starting to pull our stuff in place to begin packing.  That is when Hannah started to explain to Yashu what was going to happen tomorrow and in the next few days - then the floodgates opened - Yashu's not mine...well not until later anyway.  John and I spent the next 20-30 minutes holding her and wiping her eyes and comforting her as best as we could.  Once Hannah left and Yashu calmed down we went to dinner and FINALLY Little Miss ate a really good amount of food!  It has been painful seeing how little she eats for the last few meals so watching her grab food off of our plates was a welcome sight.  Headed over to Parkson's (department store) to buy some cooler and smaller jammies then back to the hotel for a bath and bedtime.  The most tired little angel is snoring away and peaceful once again.

So that was our day, how was yours?  :)  As I have said a million times in the last 6 years since we first started Frank's process, adoption is not for the weak.  I have a million thoughts and opinions on what is great and what could be done differently to make this whole crazy adventure easier on everyone but am far too tired to go into that right now.  Instead, I will ask you to please keep us and the poor people on our flight tomorrow in your thoughts and please send some good good vibes towards the selfless people who are doing what they can to make this world a little bit better, one tiny child at a time.

xoxo - nancy